badbadbad

ME: hey kiwi i know who u were saying. the boy who work in design ur own
tshirt. i saw him yesterday. :P
(i went back to work after sending that sms.)
JO-armani: who i said? peppermint, u don anyhow say hor... dreaming ah
u?

ME: good evening NBC
JO-armani: u jiaxuan ah.
ME: ya.
JO-armani: ni zai jiang shui?! sui bian jiang ah. (who u refering? anyhow
say ah?)
ME: there, the 1 working in Bugis de lor. css de. wear specs. indonesian
chinese.
JO-armani: orh! u know already ah. ok, CHEY! wu liao.
ME: -__-"

she's the 1 who tell me to go see him. now she says I have nothing better to
do? (what?!!) too bad kiwi (Jo-armani) not working today. eek. she is super
cute can?!

another incident:

(ring ring)
ME: hello?
Jo-armani: i'm calling from NTUC...
ME: what? joanne don't play la I know its u.
Jo-armani: wha lao. not fun de. how u know?
ME: i can see you from the camera la. haha. somemore is NBC number leh.
Jo-armani: chey, waste my time. i tot u not here yet ma.
ME: NTUC some more.
Jo-armani: HAHAHA.

gonna see her on thurs then! (:

and...
SENTOSA tomorrow!
bad Seika. ps us. grrr... back out eh. boo!

nothing funny happen today.

school tmr. assignment. bad jiaxuan.

i think through a lot yesterday night. i even cried myself to sleep after that.
ah shu ask me whether to give up or not.
although I know 101% he don't like me, still, clinging on him gives me hope. what can I do to prevent myself from falling deep again?

lots of ifs ran through my mind.
if i am another person, will u choose me?
if i change the way i want to get close to u, will u be friends with me?
if i am born prettier, will u start to notice me?
if i am born another girl, will i still meet u?
if my attitude doesn't sucked that much, will u change ur attitude towards me?
if i don't like u, will i be suffering?

if if if... or even so, if i am not even born, where'd I be then? where'd u be?

everybody's mad at jiaxuan!
):
all I know is to make people mad at me. darling's mad, mummy's mad.
as bad as it sounds, they'll forgive me.
but how can i prevent myself from committing the same thing again?

if there's 1 sense i can remove, i'd choose to remove my sense of feeling. so i can feel nothing. like a numb human.

我就是这样 天马行空的磁场
或许你还不习惯 我在等你变成拍档
我就是这样 注定和你不一样
谢谢你欣不欣赏 我的风格是限量