tired day. hot day! everyth bad.

[+_-MiSS-inG Him... LOads-_+]
**I WON'T let this Memory FaDe AWAY.**
Ok, God!
today, i'm tired, its so hot, dampening my whole spirit. Hot day pisses me off. *Yuck!* Went sch meet up with xing n Yi Cheng, went NP lib stdy until 5, as e lib closes at 5 sharp. Hmmm... Went Atrium, n guess who I saw? yar, BSG, it's him ok?
Nt tt, I'm nt happy to c him, I do, I really do bt, does he even know my presence jux lik wat Yi Cheng told me? N Yi Cheng say he is nt tt good-looking, n yes, tt really saddens. I jux don't know y, bt jux, sad?! Nt tt wat Yi Cheng said was all illogical, wat he said made total sense, bt I jux couldn't get myself out of it. I know it's stupid, bt i'm lik tt, wat can I do? U tink it doesn't hurt to c ur crush from afar n yet we can't do anyth? It is heart-breaking, totally! *tears*
I'm here all sad, wishing n praying tt he'll rmb me, yet he doesn't know me. N i can jux sit thr moaning n crying in pain? I'm so naive! *tears* Who can help me get out of this? I hate myself sometimes, u can call me stupid, naive, dumb everyth bad, I don't mind. Bt all I hope, is, he can rmb me. Make me less sad? Bt can he? He cannot! Actually, the more I c him, the more saddened I've become.
same th happens 3yrs ago, I had a huge crush on this guy, n when I confess wat happen? Of cuz i'm rejected. Of cuz i'm sad, I crushed on him for lik, 3yrs?! N wat do I get in return? nothing!! all nothing! wat can b more saddening, u tell me?
I'm nt so noble, I cant do tt, I cant let u go, yet i've hurt too much. do i hav to wait for anoth stupid 3yrs, n wait for u to reject me? i'm stupid!!!
BSG: u better get out of my life, either u die, or i vanish. I dont wanna hurt anymore, devastated. i'll leave u alone. unless u know bt less likely. argh! go to hell!!
A day that passes,
Means a day nearer in meeting u.